Barry K. Selman, LCSW

Psychotherapy for Adults, Adolescents and Couples

Couples Counseling

Couples seek marriage counseling / couples counseling for a variety of reasons:

  • Disagreements over money
  • Infidelity
  • Lack of romance and/or sexual satisfaction
  • Disagreements over raising children or having children
  • One or both complaining of a lack of emotional connectedness
  • One or both partners have a problem with addiction

While there are numerous studies on divorce rates, it is generally agreed that between 40% and 50% of all marriages end in divorce. The success of unmarried adults living as partners is assumed to be even lower. At the height of a troubled marriage or partnership, it may feel as if you too may become just another statistic. However, if both parties resolve to truly work on the marriage and commit to marriage counseling / couples counseling, it is possible to turn an unhappy marriage into a strong and lasting partnership.

Through marriage counseling / couples counseling, the two of you will discover how to create a successful, healthy marriage that works for you as individuals and as a married couple.

During marriage counseling / couples counseling, you and your partner will learn how to address past hurts in a safe and supportive environment. Expressing intense and difficult emotions will help the two of you to reach a new level of understanding and acceptance.

Throughout your marriage counseling / couples counseling sessions, we will identify the true problem areas in your relationship and how the two of you can work together to resolve these issues. In order for the relationship to endure, the two of you must come to a place where you can:

  • Express feelings and concerns openly
  • Truly listen to your partner
  • Be vulnerable, open, honest and accepting
  • Disagree productively
  • Appreciate differences in beliefs, preferences, and styles
  • Practice forgiveness of yourself and your partner
  • Let go of control issues
  • Accept your partner’s unique personality

Marriage Counseling Creates a Relationship of Love, Passion, Security, and Companionship

A healthy marriage is one where partners can communicate without having explosive arguments or episodes of violence – a relationship that is warm, caring, and where both partners feel deeply connected. Making decisions together, working toward common goals, and feeling secure that your partner is deeply committed to you can be one of the most satisfying experiences life can offer.

Ideally, marriage is a spiritual enterprise, a journey where you have the opportunity to discover what life can be at its best. Marriage offers you the possibility to truly connect with another person in a way that is uniquely different from any other type of relationship. Through openly connecting with another person, you can ultimately deepen the relationship with your own Self and Spirit.

You Deserve a Healthy Relationship - Marriage Counseling can Help

One of the most common threats to a healthy relationship is when one or both partners do not feel as though they deserve the happiness that comes from a healthy relationship.

Until we heal our family of origin issues, we will often continue to repeat those hurts. We bring those old wounds into the new relationship. When you come from a family where your needs go unmet, you’re likely to choose a partner that will not fulfill your needs, or you will make it impossible for a giving partner to satisfy your needs. These unconscious behavior patterns need to be brought to awareness and then confronted in the here and now.

When two wounded people come together there is a possibility for a strong marriage if both partners are willing to work together. Marriage counseling / couples counseling is a process through which you will:

  • Bring awareness into your dysfunctional emotional reactions and communication patterns
  • Learn how to listen to each other with patience and respect
  • Continually assess and evaluate emotions during marriage counseling sessions and in day-to-day life

I offer marriage counseling / couples counseling for Chapel Hill, Durham, Raleigh, and Cary residents as well as telephone therapy for those who live too far to commute, or in situations where one partner is out of the area. If you are suffering in your marriage or are growing apart from your partner, please call me at   or email me to schedule an appointment for marriage counseling / couples counseling in Chapel Hill, NC.